Back (yes... again)

Today I got internet service again at home.. so I decided that as the huge celebration it must be I was going to write in my blog instead of doing it in the Moleskine book... Soooo... here it goes
Some people think I'm pretty fucked up since my ex left me and everything... fact: I am... but not since my ex left me... that's WHY he left me... so yeah... Don't blame the break up, Blame the fuck up
So yeah, I decided not to believe in love anymore... why? I have no particular reason, I just woke up someday and thought it was stupid... I believe in fraternity, I believe in the kind of love we have to our friends, brothers, sisters, parents, blah blah blah, but all this "we are one crap" (quoting Tori Amos) between 2 total strangers is just obnoxious, because that's what all this fools in love are... Strangers... and that's not gonna change. PERIOD
Then, Now people think I'm pretty much going to the looney house soon, because of my emotional breakdown and creepy stuff, and because I don't talk to anyone about my feelings anymore... but hey, that's the person I was before I started to date and fall in love, so I'm just going back to basics... I'm back to the old, creepy, emotionally unstable, funny and sarcastic guy I was before "love" (or whatever) complicated everything.
So, imagine, now that I've decided not to fucking believe in love, BAM! someone falls in love with me, of course I settle everything clear from the beginning, "I DON'T WANT ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP" I said... and of course, it was as if I hadn't said anything... So here I go, trying to keep it simple and trying not to hurt anyone, and GUESS-THEFUCK-WHAT... of course it didn't work... because I hurt someone... and now all the friends and people in the world can't forgive me for not being in love... and I'M FUCKING SORRY BITCHES... But I can't be in love... and that is a fact...
And well, everything seems to be more fun when your heart is dark and rotten and stuff like that right? well... IT'S NOT... You have to give up some stupid hopes and dreams you had when you believed... it's like when you stop believing in god (Been there too) and then you have to give up the existance of heaven (or hell for that matter) and eternal happiness... it's pretty much the same here, you stop believing in love and you stop wanting all these things you wanted when you were in love, you give up the fancy (and totally akward) wedding, you give up the kids, the adopted kids from Africa, The jumping in beds with them while singing "Ain't no mountain High enough" because cancer is killing you... well... I'm digressing, but you get the picture.
The thing is that you give up all this stuff... so it's not funny... it's devastating, like a hurricane... Remember New Orleans a couple of years ago? well, it's WORSE... But in the end, you learn how to want new stuff, because that's what you always do, want new stuff, try again... but you just try different, you start wanting a nice loft with lots of expensive things (because of course, since you don't believe in love, your Job will be YOUR LIFE and you will be successful at it, it's easier, of course), a couple of cats (or dogs... but I'm a cat person), and a nice fancy car to drive your friends to the clubs when you're 45 and single... can you picture it? sounds like a loooot of fun huh?
I Can't wait...
Can't wait...
Well... Now that I look at it... I kinda don't mind to wait a little bit more...
FUCK MY LIFE...
With love (HAHA!)
Smooth